Jogging, no running, no now sprinting, he was closing in, the cold night air burned her lunges as she raced across the parking lot. Her panicked thoughts consumed her. “This cannot be happening. Not to me. Not now. ” “ How did he find me again?”
A storm was rolling in, Dark heavy clouds hung low on the lamp posts blocking out what little light the harvest moon gave off. This is what she’d trained for. 4:20 mile come to use. Step, one two three four, and push, so close to her car but the footsteps were growing louder, how could he be closing in? Sweat trickled down her forehead, dropping her purse she let all loose. She would not be overtaken, her heaving chest begged to differ. Her stride began to shorten, she was loosing precious steam….he grasps on to her flimsy wrist. Its over.
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Okay, so this lady is being chased by a bad guy- either trying to rob her or worse. I like the opening image of her jogging and then running. Like that moment where you don't know if it's real trouble or just imagined trouble and then it's CLEAR. It's trouble. Maybe you could focus on that moment more (perhaps with her thoughts).
ReplyDeleteI loved this part: Step, one two three four, and push.....
It just sounded nice and it helped me visualize it.
Sorry I didn't give you credit for this. I've changed it.
ReplyDelete