RUN.
To escape the world or find it.
RUN.
From failure and to success.
RUN.
From strife and into denial.
RUN.
To inspire and influence.
RUN.
To prove what i am made of.
RUN.
And point back to where i've come from.
RUN.
For no good reason at all.
STOP.
And fall back into all that i've finished half way.
ADMIT.
That my dreams make up what i am.
ACCEPT.
That my words define me and my actions contradict my values.
FAIL.
Yup, just fail, that i can be good at.
Catch up, Start over. In Omnia Paratus.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Poem 1: I Remember....
I Remember Marc Direnzo. I Remember My Katie Doll I Used To Take Everywhere I Went. I Remember Tin Foil Hearts Made Out Of Lunch Sandwiches. I Remember My Talking Tree. I Remember Mud Puddles. I Remember Late Nighters. I Remember My First Training Bra. I Remember Denying I was Christian Because I Didn’t Know What It Meant. I Remember Tree Forts.
I Remember Growing Up.
I Remember My Uncles Tramp, where I learned all that grown-ups knew. I Remember Pain. I Remember Pain From Pressure. I Remember Pain From Pressure To Go The Last 100 M. I Remember Pressure To Fail. I Remember Proving Them All Wrong. I Remember Jesse Wilkinson. I Remember Hurting Him. I Remember Pretending To Be Brave. I Remember My Dreams. I Remember Giving Up. I Remember Picking Myself Back Up. I Remember Deciding To Be Independent.
I’ll Remember What I’d Soon Forget.
I Remember Growing Up.
I Remember My Uncles Tramp, where I learned all that grown-ups knew. I Remember Pain. I Remember Pain From Pressure. I Remember Pain From Pressure To Go The Last 100 M. I Remember Pressure To Fail. I Remember Proving Them All Wrong. I Remember Jesse Wilkinson. I Remember Hurting Him. I Remember Pretending To Be Brave. I Remember My Dreams. I Remember Giving Up. I Remember Picking Myself Back Up. I Remember Deciding To Be Independent.
I’ll Remember What I’d Soon Forget.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Journal entry (Stream of Consciousness) #5
Memories. Please don’t let my mind wander to something embarrassing. Trek. That’s good. Sore. Wet. Cold. Wow why did I think this was good? Hole in my tent. Got a fat lip. Kissing. Ha those shouldn’t be connected. Jumping on new train of thought. Running. Broken toe. Limping, kicking the wall. Richard. Drama. Ex boyfriends. Bad reputation. Must remove self from influence. Losing house. Moving again. 23 or 4th time? Losing count. Strength. Weakness. Give up. Press forward. In Omnia Paratus. Be Tough. Hard working. My Farm. Building a fence. Hot days, swimming. California. Beach. Casey. I date my brother’s best friends. Bad or convenient? Boys ugh distractions. Gotta focus on School. College. Career. Leave impression. Make a difference.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Impluse 2
Menu: What did you say your name was?
Non M: I didn’t. Don’t worry about it just keep reading the menu.
Menu: I don’t want to be apart of this.
Non M: you already are.
Menu: No, no im not. Who is keeping me from just getting up and walking out?
Non M: see that man in the trench coat, not yet sitting at a table.?
Menu: yes
Non M: He is. Stand up and see if im bluffing.
Menu: okay fine what do you want from me?
Non M: I want you to decide if you want an omelet or toast and then wave down the waitress.
Menu: (Signaling the waitress) I’ll have an egg white vegetarian omelet and he’ll have…..
Non M: black coffee, nothing more thank you.
Menu: Now explain, I refuse to go along with this, I will not be manipulated.
Non M: then walk, walk now to the door and see who stops you, but I will warn you, if you do you will not make it past the threshold of the door and all these innocent people will die.
Non M : will you be manipulated now?
Menu: tell me what to do.
Non M: On my cue you will excuse yourself to the bathroom, upon getting there climb out the window and there will be a black Cadillac just around the corner. Get in.
Menu: How can I trust you?
Non M: You can’t but you don’t have an option.
Non M: GO! Now!
Non M: I didn’t. Don’t worry about it just keep reading the menu.
Menu: I don’t want to be apart of this.
Non M: you already are.
Menu: No, no im not. Who is keeping me from just getting up and walking out?
Non M: see that man in the trench coat, not yet sitting at a table.?
Menu: yes
Non M: He is. Stand up and see if im bluffing.
Menu: okay fine what do you want from me?
Non M: I want you to decide if you want an omelet or toast and then wave down the waitress.
Menu: (Signaling the waitress) I’ll have an egg white vegetarian omelet and he’ll have…..
Non M: black coffee, nothing more thank you.
Menu: Now explain, I refuse to go along with this, I will not be manipulated.
Non M: then walk, walk now to the door and see who stops you, but I will warn you, if you do you will not make it past the threshold of the door and all these innocent people will die.
Non M : will you be manipulated now?
Menu: tell me what to do.
Non M: On my cue you will excuse yourself to the bathroom, upon getting there climb out the window and there will be a black Cadillac just around the corner. Get in.
Menu: How can I trust you?
Non M: You can’t but you don’t have an option.
Non M: GO! Now!
Sketch
Jogging, no running, no now sprinting, he was closing in, the cold night air burned her lunges as she raced across the parking lot. Her panicked thoughts consumed her. “This cannot be happening. Not to me. Not now. ” “ How did he find me again?”
A storm was rolling in, Dark heavy clouds hung low on the lamp posts blocking out what little light the harvest moon gave off. This is what she’d trained for. 4:20 mile come to use. Step, one two three four, and push, so close to her car but the footsteps were growing louder, how could he be closing in? Sweat trickled down her forehead, dropping her purse she let all loose. She would not be overtaken, her heaving chest begged to differ. Her stride began to shorten, she was loosing precious steam….he grasps on to her flimsy wrist. Its over.
A storm was rolling in, Dark heavy clouds hung low on the lamp posts blocking out what little light the harvest moon gave off. This is what she’d trained for. 4:20 mile come to use. Step, one two three four, and push, so close to her car but the footsteps were growing louder, how could he be closing in? Sweat trickled down her forehead, dropping her purse she let all loose. She would not be overtaken, her heaving chest begged to differ. Her stride began to shorten, she was loosing precious steam….he grasps on to her flimsy wrist. Its over.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Dialogue
Me: what were you about to say?
Driver: oh, nothing.
Me: It was obviously something, just say it.
Driver: Na, really don’t worry about it.
Me: Suite yourself.
Me: I had something to say as well.
Driver: what was it?
Me: Nope, two can play this game.
Driver: oh wow that’s mature.
Me: Just as mature as your being.
Driver: Fine, I was going to admit….
Me: what?
Driver: We’re lost.
Me: That wasn’t it was it?
Driver: Yes we really are.
Me: Fine alright we’re lost, now what?
Driver: I don’t know.
Me: Hmm…. (Crickets)
Me: I’m not buying this so just tell me the truth.
Me: Please just te..
Driver: I love you.
Me: kidding right?
Driver: Yup, just trying to get you to shut up.
Me: It worked.
Me: Why are we coming all the way out here again?
Driver: Must we go over this again?
Me: I guess not, no wait, yes we must I think I deserve to know, everyone keeps beating around the bush. Driver: Trust me you don’t want to know.
Me: Trying to scare me won’t make me forget my curiosity.
Driver: I don’t expect it to forever, just for now.
Driver: oh, nothing.
Me: It was obviously something, just say it.
Driver: Na, really don’t worry about it.
Me: Suite yourself.
Me: I had something to say as well.
Driver: what was it?
Me: Nope, two can play this game.
Driver: oh wow that’s mature.
Me: Just as mature as your being.
Driver: Fine, I was going to admit….
Me: what?
Driver: We’re lost.
Me: That wasn’t it was it?
Driver: Yes we really are.
Me: Fine alright we’re lost, now what?
Driver: I don’t know.
Me: Hmm…. (Crickets)
Me: I’m not buying this so just tell me the truth.
Me: Please just te..
Driver: I love you.
Me: kidding right?
Driver: Yup, just trying to get you to shut up.
Me: It worked.
Me: Why are we coming all the way out here again?
Driver: Must we go over this again?
Me: I guess not, no wait, yes we must I think I deserve to know, everyone keeps beating around the bush. Driver: Trust me you don’t want to know.
Me: Trying to scare me won’t make me forget my curiosity.
Driver: I don’t expect it to forever, just for now.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
A Fragmented Mind (Short Story)
A Fragmented Mind
The piano man is positioned in the corner, vigorously letting his fingers prance along the grand piano’s keys. The elegant singer draped herself across the futon as she performed. Smoke filled the air of the foyer making it difficult to see the faces of the guests. Expensive décor, posh brandy, and lavishing silk gowns draping to the floor. Yes it was there again just as I had left it. Just as I leave it every night. But wait, is he still here, I must know before I slip back. I hastily made my way to the powder room, exhaling my pent up breath as I turned the corner, I relaxed. There he was, with both hands in his pockets leaning up against the door frame, one ankle crossed over the other, his hat with its feather so delicately positioned and the rim tilted just far enough to cover his eyes. Transfixed with his demeanor I watched in awe as the left side of his mouth curled up into a crooked smile. He knew I was watching. As I turned to retreat back into the foyer his movement caught my eye, he had never budged from his place in all the nights I had been here. Or had I been here more than once, I wasn’t sure. Lifting the brim of his hat we made eye contact. My jaw dropped as he winked in my direction and then quickly disappeared around the corner
I awoke gasping for air, choking on my surprise. Sitting upright in bed, as I clutched the sides of my mattress I realized my presence was not unknown in my dream. Was that it? Was that all it really was, every night I return to the same house on the same street witnessing the same occasion. I suppose a part of me would have liked to believe I had willed my self to a different time. But that was just a fantasy.
The piano man is positioned in the corner, vigorously letting his fingers prance along the grand piano’s keys. The elegant singer draped herself across the futon as she performed. Smoke filled the air of the foyer making it difficult to see the faces of the guests. Expensive décor, posh brandy, and lavishing silk gowns draping to the floor. Yes it was there again just as I had left it. Just as I leave it every night. But wait, is he still here, I must know before I slip back. I hastily made my way to the powder room, exhaling my pent up breath as I turned the corner, I relaxed. There he was, with both hands in his pockets leaning up against the door frame, one ankle crossed over the other, his hat with its feather so delicately positioned and the rim tilted just far enough to cover his eyes. Transfixed with his demeanor I watched in awe as the left side of his mouth curled up into a crooked smile. He knew I was watching. As I turned to retreat back into the foyer his movement caught my eye, he had never budged from his place in all the nights I had been here. Or had I been here more than once, I wasn’t sure. Lifting the brim of his hat we made eye contact. My jaw dropped as he winked in my direction and then quickly disappeared around the corner
I awoke gasping for air, choking on my surprise. Sitting upright in bed, as I clutched the sides of my mattress I realized my presence was not unknown in my dream. Was that it? Was that all it really was, every night I return to the same house on the same street witnessing the same occasion. I suppose a part of me would have liked to believe I had willed my self to a different time. But that was just a fantasy.
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